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英検準一級 英作文の添削をお願いします。

英検準一級 英作文の添削をお願いします。
TOPIC
Do you think print newspaper and magazines will disapper in the fiture?

POINTS(Use two of the point below to support your answer.)
〇Speed of news
〇Consumer preferences
〇Cost effectiveness
〇Health issue

解答↓
I think that print newspaper and magazines will disappear in the future. There are two reasons to support my opinion.

First of all, On internet, there are websites which provide latest news faster than news paper.
These days, Most of people have some device to get a news information from internet such as a smartphone. In my case, I usually use a social network service to get news on time.

Second of all, Recently the topics that consumer preference can be found on internet. On the Magazine, we cannot see what topic has before we buy it, however, internet has numerous topics and we can choose favorite one  from them.

According to the reason stated above, I think that print newspaper and magazines will disappear in the future.

初めて書いたもので、文法に自信がありません。
厳しめによろしくお願いします。

投稿日時 - 2019-05-12 13:18:30

QNo.9615856

困ってます

質問者が選んだベストアンサー

全部はしんどいので一部だけね:

First [of all], On internet [on the Internet], there are websites which provide latest news faster than [print(ed)] news paper.
These days, Most [most] of people have some device [or devices] to get a [DELETE a] news information from internet [on the Internet] such as a smartphone [smartphones and PCs]. In my case, I usually use a social network service [social network services] to get news on time.

投稿日時 - 2019-05-12 14:21:44

お礼

とても助かりました。ありがとうございます!

投稿日時 - 2019-05-12 16:12:18

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